Cut to deep to die

Cut

Broken, pain and scattered ashes

Ripped

Torn, burned and buried

What do we do when we're cut to deep to die?

How do we recover from a wound not made by weapons?

Cut, ripped, broken, torn

Do we bury our heart, or let it burn, scatter the ashes?

If I bury my heart I will pray for rain

I will offer my heart like a sacrifice

I will see it take root and sprout life again

If I bury my heart I will pray for rain

Let the rain come and wash me

Let the rain come and heal me

Let the rain come

To the daunting darkness in the sky I convulse, "Let the rain come!"

I fear not the electrified air

God is the eye of the storm

The Waiting

As wind breaks the barrier between nature and imagination,

Creation takes a turn toward my heart.

Could this be love?

Could this be the groaning?

As sunrise blur's the lines between night sky and day dawning,

Creation takes a turn toward my heart.

Love inside the rising of this days glory

Sings forth its awakening song.

Life is a Moster (an atricle written by Charles F. Horning III)

Life is a Monster

This is the story of a twenty-five year old boy who became a man and didn’t know it. His story is individual to him, as all stories are. However, he is not so different from the myriad of American adolescents who will one day wake up to the frightful reality of being grown up. He spent most of his adolescent existence running from a monster he called life. This monster threatened him with the responsibilities of being a man, a pressure he was utterly afraid to handle. So he drifted. He drifted into an alternate reality called post adolescence. This post adolescent adolescence, was simply a young twenty something’s apathetic attempt at escaping the monster. It was his attempt at escaping life. Yet, no matter how hard he ran, no matter how far, the monster was there. Life was there. It haunted him, daring the boy to stop existing and live.

Somewhere between puberty and a full beard a transition happened. A wrinkle in time occurred and he could no longer escape the hot breath of life breathing down his neck. He could not make sense of his surroundings. He thought to himself, “How could this be? When did life get so . . . real? When did I grow up?” These questions manifested the unspoken confusion of his heart. Deep inside his spirit the boy had a longing that every boy has. He wanted to be a man. He wanted to work hard, support a family, live a life of romance and adventure, but one thing hindered him from his desire. He was afraid. He felt trapped by his own weakness, his own consistent failure. His complete inability to live the life that he longed to live was more real to him now than ever before. The time of his awakening was upon him. He knew that if he didn’t take action, if he didn’t fight, he may remain petrified forever. He knew that if he wanted to truly live, he would have to face the monster.

Facing the Monster

Life had him cornered. The monster had been the only thing bold enough to chase him down, shake him out of his lethargy. The boy’s first reaction to the hot pursuit of life was to fight against it. He would rebel. In doing so he dug himself into a trench of irresponsibility and waste. He wasted time, friends, and love. He wasted resources, and worst of all he wasted his youth. Yet, life pursued him all the more. The fiery eyes of life peered deep into the boy’s soul. It was as if life’s monstrous gaze could shatter the wall placed between the boy and his heart. The boy had spent many years walling off his heart, attempting to protect it from the vicious nature of life. He had been hurt many times by life and wanted desperately to shield himself from the pain. Nevertheless, the monster persisted. The roar of life penetrated the boy, and the violent nature of the monster caused the boy to resist life less, and less. The boy was defenseless as life began to tear away at his chest. He wanted to resist the monster, but found the monster to be altogether different than he had first expected. He originally perceived the monster to be daunting, black and scary. But now as the monster was breathing its heat down his neck he noticed that it was curiously happy, smiling. This surprised the boy. What he had originally perceived to be a monster was turning out to be his source of deliverance. Life wasn’t scary at all, it only wanted to help!

Befriending the Monster

The boy nearly lost his breath as the monster began to speak to him, “I am Life. Why have you run so hard? My only desire is for you to live, and to live like you always imagined, happy.” The boy could not muster the strength to speak. No one had ever told him life was alive. No one ever told him it had a voice! The monster’s hot breath was blasting in the face of the boy as he began to speak again, “You see me as a monster because of your fear. All who resist true life see the future as a horror. They see life as a monster. They see me as you have seen me. But, I assure you I am altogether different. I am.” The boy buckled at his knees, and could no longer hold the gaze of Life. His chest having been ripped open, his heart was exposed; the boy held his face in his hands and began to sob. He could not explain what he was feeling. He was losing his grip on the fear to which he was so familiar, even comfortable with having. As the monster spoke with the boy the blast of its nostrils penetrated him, shattering the glass shell of fear he had lived with his whole life. The boy was vulnerable, and for the first time, because of the words of Life, that didn’t scare him. The deep penetrating breath of Life so enveloped the boy’s senses that all the pain, grief, and agony he had buried in his heart all rushed to the surface in an odd mixture of weeping, and laughter. To the surprise of the boy the monster seemed to be swallowing his pain. Every tear, groan, whimper of hurt, the monster seemed to be taking onto himself. The monster was devouring the boy’s agony, all together minding his broken heart.

From Monster to Man

As breath finally reentered the boy’s lungs after what seemed like an epoch, a man spoke, “I am Life, and I love you furiously!” The voice of this man came from the most unlikely of places. It came from deep inside the heart of the boy. Again He spoke, “I am Life! I am not a monster! I have loved you, and will always love you!” The boy still sobbing with his face in his hands, turned back into the direction of the monster. But instead of a monster he saw a man. The man’s face beamed with a joy that broke the remaining remnant of the boy’s defenses. Again the voice spoke deep within him, “I am Life. I have known you before you were formed in your mother’s womb, and I know you still. Do not be afraid.” The man’s mouth never moved and the only visible gesture on his face was joy. Hardly could the boy believe that this man who seemed so wonderful, who claimed to be Life Himself, was just moments before the hideous monster he tried so desperately to avoid.

“Who. . . Who are you?” the boy said finally finding the potency to speak.

“I am Life. I am what you originally perceived as horrifying. I Am.”

“How have you known me . . . ?”

“I am from the beginning. In the beginning I was, and from the beginning mankind has run from me. But from the beginning I have chased after man with burning conflagration. My only desire is for man to live as he is destined to live, free. Since the beginning there has been war for the hearts of men, and I am here to help you win that war! I am here to win your heart back.”

The boy recognizing the essence of the words of this man said, “I know what you are saying is true. I have felt the war for my heart since childhood. I haven’t always been afraid of life. I haven’t always been afraid of love. I didn’t always see you as a monster. I know who you are! I know that you are him, you are the Christ! I saw you take my pain. I saw you as a monster, but you were swallowing my pain! Why did you do that? Why have I seen life as terrifying? I saw you swallow my pain! You took it onto yourself. Why?”

Life replied to the boy, “I took your pain so that you could have your heart back. So that you could have my heart like you have never known. My gift to you today is my heart, and it is your own. My heart is stronger than the pain, disappointment, and rejection you have experienced in the past. My heart will forever be the anchor of your life. My heart is your compass, and it is your sword. When you are lost my heart will guide you. When you are terrified my heart will defend you. You have seen life as terrifying because you have resisted my heart. You believed more in the ability of pain to petrify you than my hearts ability you lead you triumphantly in all things. Fear distorts vision therefore distorting your vision of me. You saw my zeal for your heart as a monster, and yet I do have a monstrous love you. So I ran for you, tearing away at the gate of your heart, tearing away at your chest. Why you ask? Because I love you, and my Father in heaven loves you. Your Father loves you!” Having said these things Life bent down on one knee placing his hands on the shoulders of the young man.

Jesus laid his head on the crown of the boy’s head and the boy began to speak, “God, I’ve been so afraid of living. I’ve been so petrified that I tried to pretend you weren’t real. I tried to pretend that life wasn’t real. I fought you with apathy. Yet, you chased me all the more! I am overwhelmed with the heat of your passion and love for me. I can feel your breath filing my lungs again. I was so alone, so scared, so. . . broken. I became a man and I hoped it wasn’t true. I wanted my maturity to be a delusion. Somewhere deep in me I wanted to face the responsibility of growing up but I didn’t know how. I didn’t recognize your heart and few pointed me into the true direction of your life. Now you have shown me your heart, and I ask you to make me into the man I have always longed to be! Make me into a monster hungry for the hearts and souls of my generation. Make me like you Jesus, all I want is to be like you. All I want is to live!”

Hearing this Life kissed the boy on his forehead. At this the boy knew that he had become a man. He knew that being a man had little to do with age or puberty, but that manhood had to do with honor. In this life soaked kiss from God a revelation of true manhood saturated his spirit. True manhood is the recognition of the Spirit of Life, facing the Spirit head-on, honoring Life and taking up His sword on the earth. He knew that he was created for a fight. He was called to war with the Monster!

The Boy and the Heart of a Monster

This is the story of a boy who became a man and didn’t know it. This is the story of a man who had to become like a child so that God could win his heart back. His story is not so different from countless others, yet it is unique to him. He grew up in a society where fast food and video games are king, and all night binges and the hunt for sex reign. However, in the midst of this he grew up with a true knowledge of Life, yet the pull of the spirit of the age drew him away from his true calling. Fear had distorted the purest image he had ever known. It had taken his dreams and turned them into a petrifying nightmare. Yet, because of the truth piercing him as a child and chasing him down his entire existence, Life found him. Life came to him in the midst of his darkness, in the midst of his deepest sin and said, “I love you. Do not be afraid!” Having heard this unconditional acceptance from the Spirit of Life the boy found his true Father in heaven. He found his identity in the man of all men, and the King of all Kings. He found his heart in Jesus. He had finally faced the Monster.

Time our surgeon. . .

Is time a surgeon?

Can a season heal a broken heart?

Lovesong

There is something inside of a song that makes it what it is. There is dna inside a sound, and it is attractive. What is music that it has this affect on us? What is it? When I here a song, and I am different after hearing it, what has happened?

For me it is love. I find love in the music. There are so many expressions that need to be expressed, but nothing can move me like love.

A thank you letter to Church Family.

Dear Tim & Dawn, and Destiny Community Church,

I am so entirely grateful for all your support financially and
prayerfully in regards to my mission trip in Haiti. It was both a
beautiful, and a terrible experience. Beautiful in that the people and
the land have so much potential for greatness, but terrible in that
the land is stricken with abject poverty, and now the aftermath of the
earthquake. As it is with any third-world nation, so it is with Haiti.
The need for support is great. I am unspeakably grateful for your
support of me, and the Lord's mission in Haiti. And I can say first
hand that hundreds of Haitians are thankful as well.

While in Haiti we split our ministry time into two separate halves.
The fist half of our trip was spent in the shanty seaside town of Cite
Soleil. This is where our missionary on the ground Pastor Vincent had
his compound. Pastor Vincent's compound consists of his local church,
and school. Before the earthquake on January 12, the compound held
over 800 students. Now it holds less than half that amount. Since the
earthquake people have been living inside of the compound in tents
that they received by government aid. Our time in Cite Soleil was a
time marked by God's love. We spent 4 days co-hosting a youth
conference with Pastor Vincent's team. On the second day I preached on
Psalm 46:7 and the river that makes glad the city of our God. Most of
our ministry at the conference was spent guiding them toward freedom
in worship, and the many different expressions thereof. It was a
beautiful time of freedom, and deliverance. There are many different
testimonies of God's love being expressed during the youth conference
but I will attempt to tell just one.

I, on the second day of the conference met two lovely young girls.
These young girls would proceed in stealing my heart. Which wasn't to
hard for them to do since I gave it to them freely. Emma, age 7, and
her sister, Vanessa age 3, both instantly stuck out to me. The two of
them, however similar to the rest of the children on the compound,
were intrinsically different. These two beautiful girls had a deep joy
inside them that caused them to shine brighter than the brightest
star. I met them on the 2nd day of the conference and introduced
myself as Francois, which means Francis in Creole. Francois was much
easier for them to understand and pronounce than Chuck. :) I quickly
became their Francois, and they quickly realized that a white man from
way far away came to tell them that Jesus loved them. ( in Creole it's
''Jesu remme ou'') So if I said it once I said it a thousand times,
''Jesu remme ou!'', and ''Moi remme ou'' which means I Love you. So I
would hug them, dance with them, and tell them that Jesus loved them,
and that I loved them too! If I hadn't done anything else in Haiti my
time with them was worth it. But God had planned much more. We were
not finished because after the youth conference it was off to the
Mountains. That is, by the way, where Haiti gets her name.
Ayiti/Haiti- Land of the Mountains.

On our second half of the trip we found ourselves in a near 10ft tall
truck headed up the Jacmel Mountains. This drive was epic in every
way. The drive it's self was a nine hour twisting and turning
adventure into the heart of the Haitian Mountains. While in Jacmel we
held Church services, ran a medical clinic, and also went on
evangelistic hikes through out the mountains where we saw many
miracles. God was certainly present. In Jacmel we saw many Haitian
people give their lives to the Lord. We also saw many Healing's, and
deliverance's. Most case's of healing happened through very simple
prayers. We would pray something like, ''God the boy has pain in his
leg. We command healing in his leg in Jesus name'', the boy would
check to see if the pain had left, and then simply say, ''I am
better''. I found myself many times explaining that only through the
love, and healing power of Jesus could this have happened, and that
God made the impossible, possible. Hallelujah!

The same day that my team went out evangelizing in Jacmel we held a
Church service early that morning. That morning a Voodoo disciple, a
rather old man, had been present at the service. Our leader Doug Lee
spoke at the service, and ended up leading that man to the Lord.
Later, as we began our hike the same man, now an ex-Voodoo disciple
would be the first man to be healed.

My friend Elaine Rinsink came to me as I was sitting on a rock waiting
to begin our hike and said, '' Hey Chuck, would you like to come pray
with me for this man's knee to be healed?'' As I followed her through
a small crowed that had gathered I instantly noticed that the man she
wanted to pray for was the same Voodoo disciple that had given his
life to Christ earlier that day! We began to pray. I bent down put my
hand on his knee and said something to the effect of, ''I speak to
this knee, and body in the Name of Jesus, be healed.'' We asked the
man to check his knee to see if he still had pain. As he checked we
found out that some of the pain had gone but it was not a complete
healing. So Elaine began to speak to the little children that gathered
around us, and said, ''I'll bet that there's a brave little boy, or
girl here with enough faith in God to see this man's knee healed!''
The little kids were so cute. They looked at each other half
embarrassed, not knowing what to do. As the children giggled, and
thought about the idea of helping us, we saw one little boy come
forward. He was a brave little boy indeed. I had him put his hand
on the man's knee, and repeat after me. Again we commanded healing
into the man's body. This time we saw a complete healing. God is truly
amazing!

We had many testimonies of God's faithfulness and love while in Haiti,
but none of them would have been possible without the love, and
faithful support of you guys at Destiny Community Church. I love you
all so much! You have truly been a launching pad for me, and now for
many more through me in Haiti. Jesus Christ has shown Himself through
us, and is continuing to do so as He releases revival fire through out
the globe.

God bless you Tim, and Dawn Cole! You are truly Apostles of Change,
and I can't wait to watch the fire spread though out your lives and
ministry!
God bless Destiny Community Church! Let another great wave of His
power, and presence fall in your hearts, and soul's.

''Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of
these is love.''

Love you always,

Charles F. Horning III

Rocks on the sidewalk.

I've been to a place just recently. Some might call this place hopeless. And it is true, it is a desperate land. Stripped of resources due to abject poverty, this place is radically different from my comfortable western ecosystem. While in this place I set inside myself a decision. I vowed that I would not turn away my face from any horrid thing I might see. I would not ignore the severity of the situation. See, in this place there is already much need, but on January 12, 2010 the worst earthquake in 200 years - 7.0 in magnitude - struck less than ten miles from the Caribbean city of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. In this place there is much to see and learn. However terrible the conditions of Haiti, one fact is branded on the forefront of my heart.

God has not given up on Haiti!

I learned much during my time in the Land of Mountains. I saw a a people marked by resiliency. Deep down in the very soul of the Haitian people can be found something of a paradox in times like this. This tucked away thing is planted deep in the hearts of the people. It isn't easy to see, but with the right vision it stands out clearly. This thing I speak of is Hope.